And the Two Become One Flesh

This coming weekend is my anniversary.  I've been married for 11 years to a woman who still blows my mind.  The love my wife has for me is only exceeded by the love of my God and Savior Jesus Christ.  I still marvel at the chain of events that God used to bring her into my life and make her my bride.  The marvel of my wife's love, Jesus' love, or  what Jesus did to bring me my wife; none of these cause as much marvel or wonder as what happens in a marriage.

Now I'm not talking about any part of the wedding itself, but what happens when two people are married.

 ²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
(Genesis 2:24, New King James Version)

First, we were two separate people.  First, we had separate goals, plan, and desires for life; then those goals, plans, and desires began to meld.  I yield some things to my wife, and she yielded some things to me.  At other points we found our two separate desires blending into a single thinking that neither of us expected.  Then we found only one person; two bodies, two minds, and two hearts working as one.  We've now been blended thoroughly that it would be impossible to separate us.

Now don't get me wrong on this one:  we are not always perfectly one.  We disagree, we argue, and occasionally there is yelling.  However, we strive for this perfect unity.  For we have the guidance of scripture to tell us how to do this.

 ²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
 ²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
 ²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” ³² This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:21-33, New International Version)

The first step, often missed, is submitting to one another.  This isn't letting my wife walk over me, or me walk over her.  This is me putting my wants aside for my wife's needs.  It is the two of us thinking about what the other needs, first, before everything else.  There is another layer to submitting, it is preferring the other person.  I prefer Jesus to myself, so I would rather do what Jesus wants than myself.  I prefer my wife, so I would rather do what she wants.  We submit by putting our wants behind the other's needs, and preferring the other's wants to our own.  Again, we're not perfect here, but we try.

Verse 25 now sets a high standard for the behavior of husbands.  How high?  The highest!  Husbands are told to love their wives the way Christ loved the Church.  How did Jesus love the Church?  Jesus was beaten, spat on, nailed on a cross, and died.  All this to wash His Church from its sins.  That is how much Jesus loved the Church.  Men, are you prepared to die to give your wife what she needs?  Well, you probably won't have to; but you may have to give up guys night, that tool/toy you "need," or an hour of sleep.  Are you prepared to step up?

Now women, verse 22 is probably the most maligned verse in the Bible, unless it's verse 23.  Let's understand what it says, nothing.  Verse 21 told us that every Christian should submit to every other Christian.  Verse 22 says to do the same thing for your husband as for anyone else.  Your husband should be laying down his life for you, like Christ did, every day; and you can't take advantage of that.  Now verse 23 provides the second bemoaned statement, the husband's headship.  Start off by reading Mark 10:35-45.  Here Jesus describes what leadership should look like:  serving.  Again, your husband should lead you by serving you, and you can't take advantage of that.

I know what I'm going to get from some women, and some men too.  They are going to say, "I will do that when he/she does his/her part."  The Bible doesn't give you that option.  No where does it allow the husband to give himself up after his wife has submitted.  No where does it say the wife only submits when the husband act like Jesus.  If he waits for her and she waits for him, it will never happen.  We do our parts first, especially if the other is falling down on the job.  Remember, Jesus died for you before you repented of your sin.

There you have it:  the greatest mystery of marriage and how to keep it. So what happens when we don't take care of a marriage.

When you don't foster your marriage, your heart becomes hard toward your spouse.  This hardness starts as ignoring your spouse, then it becomes being mean toward your spouse.  Then your relationship falls apart.

² The Pharisees came and asked Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” testing Him.
³ And He answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?”
⁴ They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.”
⁵ And Jesus answered and said to them, “Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. ⁶ But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ ⁷ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, ⁸ and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. ⁹ Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
(Mark 10:2-9, New King James Version)

What is required to split a marriage: spiritual violence.  You can't sign a piece of paper and be separate. This melding of two people is deep, so deep that you cannot pull two whole people out of a marriage.  If you separate them, you are left with two broken people.  First the relationship must be mangled, smashed, and crushed.

The good news is that we worship an awesome God, "who gives life to the dead and calls those things which do not exist as though they did." (Romans 4:17b, New King James Version)  He can rebuild anything from nothing.  He can make something dead live again.  He can take two broken people and make a marriage from them again.

Are you willing to give Him a shot and trust Him?
Are you willing to do what a marriage needs?
Are you willing to love first?

One final note:  Dearest, I love you.  I promise to strive to love you the way Christ loves you.  I will fail, but I will strive.

Prodigal Son

So I've been thinking about the story of the prodigal son lately.  I've run into one or two in my time.  For starters you better go re-read it here.

Now the most important part of the story, everyone agrees, is that the son repents of his behavior and he returns to his father.  The father, seeing his son's repentance, rushes out to gather his son up and bring him home.  This is so important, because it describes our relationship with God.  We are the son, who has run from the father trying to hide in the pleasures of this world.  When we come to our senses and repent, God comes sweeping down and scoops us up and takes us home.

It is the most wonderful story in the whole Bible.  In fact, this story is the summary statement of the whole of scripture.  However, that is not why I've been thinking about it lately.

As you get to the end of the story, the "loyal" brother finds out that dad let the prodigal boy back home. Does he celebrate that his brother came back to his senses?  Of course not, the "loyal" brother pops a gasket.  He can't accept that his brother could just be received back like that.

So who is this "loyal" brother in the story:  why, me!!  I'm the one who stayed behind serving God faithfully,  while others have gone and partied and squandered their lives away.  Now I see these prodigals trying to return to God's household.  Of course there is a key difference, I've read the story and know I need to check my pride at the door.

This finally gets me to why I've been thinking about this story.  God can receive back a repentant sinner because He knows their hearts.  I've not yet been granted that power.... and don't expect to be.  So, how do I know when to receive  a brother back?

The answer, I think lies in the story as well.  In the story, the human father sees his son coming home from a long way off.  There it is, the answer.  The father was watching for his son, watching for a return.  That is what I need to be doing:  watching.  I should be watching for the first sign of return, no matter how far away.  Then I need to run out and embrace them.  If they receive that embrace and return with me, then I receive them back.  If they insist on returning to their sin, then I must go back to watching and waiting.

So if you're the "loyal" brother like me, you have 3 jobs: watch, wait, run.  So you'll need to stay in shape for that 3rd one, it's tough but worth it.

So, It's still not over...yet

 Right, so the fact you are reading this means you weren't raptured yesterday.  I'm not surprised.  This was not my first predicted rapture... unfortunately, I don't think it will be my last.  People love to predict the end of the world:  some get "visions from God," some find the secret buried in scripture, some find it in the prediction of some ancient civilization, and some see science indicating a huge disaster.  Despite their differences, they all have one thing in common:  they are all wrong.

 ³² “But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. ³³ Take heed, watch and pray; for you do not know when the time is. ³⁴ It is like a man going to a far country, who left his house and gave authority to his servants, and to each his work, and commanded the doorkeeper to watch. ³⁵ Watch therefore, for you do not know when the master of the house is coming—in the evening, at midnight, at the crowing of the rooster, or in the morning— ³⁶ lest, coming suddenly, he find you sleeping. ³⁷ And what I say to you, I say to all: Watch!” (Mark 13:32-37, New King James Version)

People try to say they know when the end will come, but Jesus said that even HE did not know when the end would be.  Talk about arrogance, claiming to know what not even the Son of God knows!  Why doesn't Jesus know when the end would be?  Because it doesn't matter.

Now you would think it would make a difference if the world was ending tomorrow.  You'd think there would be things that you would need, or want, to do.  That is the logic of procrastination!  If you do what needs to be done every day, then there is nothing that needs to be done before the end of the world.  This is the command of Jesus: be ready and watch.  If we are ready and watching, Jesus can return any day and we can rejoice.

The final problem with saying that the Jesus will return on a particular day is that I may die first. If my plan is to be ready for Jesus to return on Thursday, I won't be ready when I get hit by a truck on my way to work tomorrow.  I am promised nothing about the span of my life.  I am not guaranteed to live until Jesus returns.  I have to be ready for Jesus to call me home...Now!

Are you ready for Christ to Return?  Are you ready for Him to call you home?  Get to it, you don't know how long you have!